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Are we there yet? No.
The Story
Barack Obama and Mitt Romney had their final debate. It was about foreign policy. They decided to talk about that some of the time.
Who Won?
Obama, but it’s unclear what that means for him. If anything. Obama was very presidential and you could almost hear him say, “Oh Mittens, you novice you. Have you seen my passport?” Romney put up a strong and good fight, but foreign policy is not his thing.
Where Was it, Again?
In case you couldn’t tell by Mitt’s tan, it was in Florida at Lynn University.
Was it a Good Debate?
Yawn. Three presidential debates later, the candidates have said their piece and really didn’t care if the night had a theme. They were there to cram in what they wanted to talk about and didn’t actually have much to debate on foreign policy. Romney wanted to talk about the economy and how Obama doesn’t get it and Obama was really excited to give Mittens an education about education.
Did the Debate Matter?
Probably not. Neither campaign really thinks foreign policy will decide the race. Team Obama really needed another night to make up for the Great Sleepover of 2012 (Debate #1), which it got, but the election is far from decided.
I Got Drunk Off of Bin Laden
Yeah, he was mentioned a few times. Once when Mitt anticipated Barry’s bragging rights and beat him to it; another time (kind of) when moderator Bob Schieffer started to refer to Osama as Obama bin Laden. Hate when that happens.
What are the 3 B’s of the Political Season?
Big Bird. Binders. Bayonets. Obama was on his A-rehearsed-game with the zingers, criticizing Romney as out of touch about how the military works and reminding him we no longer use bayonets. #thanksforthehalloweenprop
Are the 80s Back?
Don’t tease me. Obama had a rad zinger for Romney’s campaign trail claim that Russia is the U.S.’s “#1 geopolitical foe,” saying, “the 1980s, they’re now calling to ask for their foreign policy back because, you know, the Cold War’s been over for 20 years.” Tubular.
Was Obama Testy the Whole Time?
He wasn’t kind. He tried really hard to show he’s the commander-in-chief and Romney is a commander-in-business. “I know you haven’t been in a position to actually execute foreign policy, but every time you’ve offered an opinion, you’ve been wrong,” he said. Romney disagreed. Attack. Zing. Burn. A lot less fun when the opponent is more subdued.
What Did Romney Do?
Calmly asked Obama to stop attacking him. After last week’s debate where Mittens threw off his gloves, Romney tried the peaceful, gentle route. He positioned himself as a peace man—anti-war and all about prosperity. Sounds kind of nice. He tried to prove his knowledge on world affairs, even dropping in a Mali reference. Romney, out of his comfort zone, wondered, “Can I talk about the economy now?” #themefail
Why is the Split Screen So Cruel?
Sweat, grays, and glares. The HD split is no man’s friend.
Who Was Not a Fan of the Debate?
Emily Post grad Ann Coulter, who called Obama “the retard” on Twitter.
I Wish I Could Debate, Too!
You should run as a third-party candidate and then Larry King would give you some talking time. The King is hosting a third-party showdown tonight at 8 PM ET that will not win the ratings war.
So Did They Talk About Foreign Policy?
Sure. They talked about lots of places, although neither really wanted to talk about Latin America. But while their views are drastically different on some domestic issues, they’re not all that different past a passport check. ORomney wants a prosperous America that is leading and not warring.
Where Did They Disagree?
China
As in, both candidates recognize that the Republic is large and increasingly in charge. Romney wants to classify China as a currency manipulator. Obama wants to continue going after China for violating trade rules.
Mideast
As in, Romney thinks the post-Arab spring world is a mess and Obama even took an apology tour of the region. (Psst. What’s an “I’m sorry” tour? Not an awesome concert, but when Obama goes around to other countries apologizing for America, according to Romney.) Obama says, false.
Iran
As in, Romney said that Obama has let Iran get four years closer to a nuclear weapons program. Obama says Iran has a choice: Come to the diplomatic table or deal with a president (Hint: Obama) who won’t take anything off the table.
Israel
As in, Romney tried to out-BFF Obama and attacked his lack of visits to the country during the Apology Tour. Obama countered that by saying when he visited Israel as a candidate, he visited the Holocaust museum and not fundraisers. Awkwarrrrd.
Military Cuts
As in, Romney said Obama downsized Navy ships. Obama introduced Romney to the latest in technology and reminded him this was not Battleship. And said he is not trying to cut military spending.
Domestic Issues
As in, these were not on the agenda but they talked about them anyway. Obama and Romney argued over different views on the budget and education.
Phew! You Skimm’d it for Us
On Iran, Mittens said they are spinning, spinning uranium, making for a very dangerous international drinking game. President Obama says we have tight sanctions to stop Iran in its tracks and give it a choice to play by the rules before possibly taking military action as a last resort. Governor Romney said our sanctions aren’t tight enough yet, and reminded us we are four years closer to a nuclear Iran. (Olivia Ifergan, Chicago, IL)
What’s Next?
Stick a fork in us, we’re done. With the debates. Vote on November 6.
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