5 Stupid Grammar Myths (and Why You Should Follow Them at Work)

by , July 31, 2012 — 13 Comments
5 Stupid Grammar Myths

Ever been chided for doing something you know isn’t wrong? Your brother-in-law insists that guacamole is made only with lemon—never lime—and that you’ve ruined it with your tiny green citrus. His mama taught him to make it with lemon, and he doesn’t care how much you cite Alton Brown.

The same goes when you’re writing at work. Although modern grammarians and reference books firmly assert that all five of the “rules” I’m going to give you are baseless, they’ve been taught as law in many schools—especially to people old enough to be your boss.

So read up. Be informed. Know they are myths—and follow them in your writing at work anyway. Believe me, it makes life easier.

 

1. “Data” Can Only Be Plural

In Latin, “data” is the plural of “datum.” Therefore, some people insist that “data” can only be plural in English (“the data are here,” not “the data is here”). Now, these same people would never ask you to send them the meeting “agendum,” even though the “agenda/agendum” pair is just like “data/datum.” And that’s because English is a rogue and has no problem giving a makeover to words it takes from other languages.

Nevertheless, you’re safest keeping “data” plural. If it sounds weird to you, use a different word, such as “information” or “results.”

Don’t: This quarter’s data is going to get us fired.

Do: This quarter’s results are going to get us fired.

 

2. Never Split an Infinitive

You split an infinitive when you put an adverb between “to” and a verb—for example, “to boldly go.”

The rule against splitting infinitives was made up by a few fellows in the mid-1800s, and even they weren’t that adamant about it. They generally thought it was better to avoid splitting infinitives, but they didn’t say that splitting was the unforgivable sin that some people seem to think it is today.

Even though splitting isn’t wrong, moving the adverb rarely changes the meaning of your sentence. Just do it.

Don’t: She wanted to loudly tell her boss to pound sand.

Do: She wanted to tell her boss loudly to pound sand.

 

3. Don’t End a Sentence With a Preposition

This “rule” was made up in 1672 by John Dryden—a writer so famous in his time that some refer to the years of his prime as the Age of Dryden. His influence assured that the rule made it into schoolbooks, and it’s been widely taught ever since. Nevertheless, there’s no logical basis for the rule, and modern language experts have fought back in force.

The only reason you’ll find in most current language books for avoiding an ending preposition is to save you from offending someone who still thinks it’s wrong. But, in the workplace, that’s actually not a bad reason.

Don’t: Now that’s something I hadn’t thought of.

Do: Now that’s something I hadn’t considered.

 

4. “Slow” is Never an Adverb

Fussbudgets will tell you that signs shouldn’t say “drive slow”—they should say “drive slowly.” The bearers of this news ignore the existence of flat adverbs (those that don’t end in -ly). Even William Strunk Jr., of Elements of Style fame, used them: Co-author E.B. White reported that Strunk often told students, “If you don’t know how to pronounce a word, say it loud.”

Still, the belief that flat adverbs are wrong is so widespread, it’s safer to use the non-flat adverb form.

Don’t: He talks so loud we can hear him three cubes down.

Do: He talks so loudly we can hear him three cubes down.

 

5. Only Food is Done; Projects are Finished

You’ve probably been chided by someone at the dinner table for saying you’re “done” instead of “finished,” but that aunt or grandfather was holding on to a belief that doesn’t make any sense. This “rule” surfaced in the early 1900s, but the style guide that started it gave no reason. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary of English Usage speculates that the advice was based on bias against the usage’s “Irish, Scots, and U.S.” origin.

You can argue the point with Aunt Millie, but at work, there’s no harm in sticking with “finished.”

Don’t: I’m done with this project.

Do: I’m finished with this project.

 

In the workplace, it’s not always about what’s right and wrong—it’s about how you play the game. And yes, that includes grammar.

 

Photo of books courtesy of Shutterstock.

About the Author

Mignon Fogarty is better known online as Grammar Girl and is the author of eight books on language, including the new book 101 Troublesome Words You’ll Master in No Time.

13 comments
Greg Peters1
Greg Peters1

Just a couple more on the done and finished. My English teacher back in the day said you can't "hold" something that you can't hold in your hand. And a total is not "over" some amount, it's more than. Call me old-school.

Greg Peters1
Greg Peters1

Not sure if this helps the first item or makes it more cloudy. This is the AP Style post on collective nouns:

collective nouns Nouns that denote a unit take singular verbs and pronouns: class, committee, crowd, family, group, herd, jury, orchestra, team.Some usage examples: The committee is meeting to set its agenda. The jury reached its verdict. A herd of cattle was sold.Team names and musical group names that are plural take plural verbs. The Yankees are in first place. The Jonas Brothers are popular.Team or group names with no plural forms also take plural verbs: The Miami Heat are battling for third place. Other examples: Orlando Magic, Oklahoma City Thunder, Utah Jazz.Many singular names take singular verbs: Coldplay is on tour. Boston is favored in the playoffs. The Cardinal is in the NCAA tournament.But some proper names that are plural in form take a singular verb: Brooks Brothers is holding a sale.PLURAL IN FORM: Some words that are plural in form become collective nouns and take singular verbs when the group or quantity is regarded as a unit.Right: A thousand bushels is a good yield. (A unit.)Right: A thousand bushels were created. (Individual items.)Right: The data is sound. (A unit.)Right: The data have been carefully collected. (Individual items.)

RobynSheppard
RobynSheppard

Regarding ending sentences with prepositions: When Winston Churchill was criticized for doing it, he said, "That, sir, is arrant nonsense, up with which I will not put."

Michele Forsyth
Michele Forsyth

Thank you to the author. This was a very nice and timely article for me. I would love to hear your take on the new usage of 'would have' which is now used toreplace the past tense of most verbs.

Robert Widdowson
Robert Widdowson

Great tips to improve writing. Thanks for reminding me. It's so easy to forget these simple rules.

Joyce
Joyce

The 'food is done, projects are finished' reminded me of my high school English teacher who enjoyed telling us every time he got a chance, "The desk is hard. The task is difficult." The opposite of hard is soft; the opposite of difficult is easy. We were never allowed to say an assignment was too hard.

Paddy Kennedy
Paddy Kennedy

Use stronger verbs and avoid the "tell her boss loudly" pitfall.

Seems to me she wants to scream at her boss; holler at him/her etc.

Tell loudly? Unless she's passive aggressive, I just wouldn't phrase it that way in the first place.

George from Denver
George from Denver

Your advice was well-written and wise. In spite of Stan's protestations to the contrary, defying the person who has the power to assign you to your industry's equivalent of digging holes by hand and filling them in forever is foolish. Of course Stan could tell his boss to pound sand loudly...

Bernie
Bernie

I would gladly live with all these rules if people would stop stop saying "your" when referring to things that are clearly not mine e.g. " your Irish and your Scots" etc. I even hear it on NPR which makes it hurt double!

Stan Carey
Stan Carey

@Kelly: Yes, obeying this zombie rule leads writers to create ambiguous and awkward phrases. "She wanted to tell her boss loudly to pound sand" is ambiguous to me, because I regularly come across analogous constructions where the adverb in that position is modifying what follows it, not what precedes it. In a recent post about split infinitives, I listed many literary examples of this problem (e.g., "I am going hesitantly to adopt the notion..." from a book on archaeology).

@Grace: The only thing I find wrong with “to boldly go where no man has gone before” is the blatant chauvinism. To alter the phrase syntactically would be to undermine the force of its emphatic expression.

For stylistic reasons some "infinitives" oughtn't to be split, but we need to reject the notion that there's anything grammatically wrong with doing so. (I used scare quotes there because split infinitives don't technically exist in English.)

Also, if I worked with someone who took offence at a sentence for ending in a preposition, I would not accommodate their misguided, anachronistic presumptions about language.

smartygirl
smartygirl

these same people would never ask you to send them the meeting “agendum,” because an "agendum" would be a single task, and most meetings (try to) cover more than one item. hence the plural "agenda."

Kelly Fox
Kelly Fox

Nice article. I have to say though that your solution to the split infinitive issue is troubling. I don't know whether this is a formal grammar issue, or just the way it sounds, but "She wanted to tell her boss loudly to pound sand," sounds to me as though loudly were modifying the word "pound" and not "to tell." If I were editing this, I would suggest the sentence be entirely recast.

Grace
Grace

Split infinitives normally don't bother me that much, but the "to boldly go where no man has gone before" during the intro to Star Trek does. It makes me twitch.